#Stately: Retirement Receptions: "Depressing Rubbish"

By Donald Keyjote
March 7, 2007

Attendees of former State Administration of Human Services and Health Related Stuff Associate Commander on Budget and Cost Hank Cobb's retirement reception last Thursday have all agreed the time spent eating, drinking, and schmoozing with their leaving brethren was a complete and utter waste of time. Kid Insurance Services employee Kellie Latijka is leading the charge for reception reform based on what she had to go through.

"First, very few people who showed up knew Hank," Latijka said during a news conference Monday afternoon. "Most people had worked with him for a year or so and were not privy to all the problems he started.

"There's nothing worse than going and hearing how great some guy is when you, the sole person in a room who's worked for him for any extended period, know that ten years ago, the same guy was hated by people as far up as the governor. That attitude hasn’t changed ten years on, but now we're celebrating his value. It's sad."

Latijka confirmed Cobb’s status: "He is extremely unpopular."

According to Latijka and others in attendance, the reception was to begin at three o'clock in the General Conference Room; Cobb first showed up at quarter after three and spent the next thirty minutes shaking hands and receiving guests.

"A lot of people only had thirty minutes or so to come and hear what Hank had to say, get some pink sherbet punch, and then get back to what they needed to do," added Latijka. "It was extremely unfair and rude of Cobb to make light of their time constraints."

As part of her reform package, Latijka proposes that all receptions be organized by a function committee comprised of at least one person from each section within the building. The committee would work with the retiring employees section, but everyone would still be involved in the activities from the ground floor.

News of the modification surprised some, including employee Lucia Neeville, who said the improvements were an excellent idea but would take time to stick.

"You have to realize that retirement is a way to clean house," Neville said. "You're getting rid of the old blood who liked to do things, such as retirement receptions, the same way and who expected people to behave the way they always did. New regulations not only have to be created but undertaken by the new staff."

Hillary Thomas disagrees. Thomas, who has worked in the same office for the past twenty-nine years, feels the old ways are worth saving. "I think it should be kept, you know, a tradition. It's a much-loved routine: you go, you give presents, you listen to how much the retiree suffered and contributed during his or her years, then you sit in his or her shadow and meekly swallow dry cake and drink imitation-colored punch. We've done it for years and should really consider keeping the custom alive. At least for another two years so I can go through it before I leave."

Latijka is organizing and leading a group dedicated to stopping the sort of thing Thomas suggests continues. "It's unfortunate," Latijka says, "being forced together as a state agency to witness such depressing rubbish every few months or so. I'm not saying we should outlaw the reception, but make them worth going to.”