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Truly Useless Observances for June 2026

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

#Stately: Printer Files with HR

by "Poor Old" Johnny Ray
January 10, 2007

A $30,000 printer employed by the State Administration of Human Services and Health Related Stuff has filed a grievance with the Human Resources Office for being ignored and unused.

The twelve-year-old Laser Writer III Express printer announced yesterday that it was tired of being ignored and treated unfavorably since his arrival in the Managed Audit unit three months ago.

"I was brought over to this section from someone in support," the printer said. "I was told I was going to be used to do bulk printing jobs once a month and that I would be paid by the minute, which at the time, with the cheap software they were using, meant I had it pretty darn good. I mean, that beats sitting in an empty cubicle for months on end being used as a bookend."

A representative of the printer claims that his client was moved to the audit section with the understanding that the bulk printing jobs would commence immediately. However the printer revealed that he had a bum paper loader and would not be able to participate that first month. Another printer was used, an upper-middle-class HP LaserJet printer, and the Laser Writer has been out of work since.

"Isn't there some sort of law against victimizing the handicap? Cause that's what I was: handicap. I got the paper loader working now and I've been serviced to boot. I'm ready to go now. But no one's hiring. I know times are tough but...hey, I'd even do back up work or envelopes for Pete's sake."

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