#Stately: Temp Promoted to Bureau Chief

by Lane Krakowski
November 8, 2006

Dolph Turner, a hourly-paid temporary with Lundgren Emplacement Agency for the past three years, has been named Bureau Chief of the State Administration of Human Services and Health Related Stuff's Prescription Services Unit.

Turner, 21, is set to begin in his new role December 2, following an extensive 15-month search for a replacement.

"It's totally hittin', yo," Turner said Wednesday, upon hearing the news from Deputy Commissioner Maxine Culpepper. "No doubt I'll bring a fresh sound that'll be bumpin'. No frontin' either: straight word."

SAHSHRS Exalted Commander Roger Farctate said during the press conference naming Turner to the position that Turner "brings a certain seriousness and much-needed street credibility to the position and we are confident we are hiring the man who will lead his team into the 21st Century. He [Turner] has shown a surprisingly well-versed background in prescriptions and we welcome his extensive knowledge to our family."

For the past three years Turner has temped with Lundgren Emplacement Agency, working part time as a shift leader at a Burger King. Prior to this, he spent three months as Fast Taco and mowed lawns last summer.

Turner attributes his part time jobs to his success. "I mean I've been in some sort of leadership position for 'bout four years now, ya dig? I feel I bring a certain 'in yo face, get to the point ya b'aah or I'l cap you' attitude to the workplace. That's not the type of cookie cutter leadership ya learnin' in business college. That's from the street. If you can survive that, leadin' a bunch of dipwads to a phone ain't that hard, you know what I'm sayin', B?"

There are no drastic changes in operation as part of Turner's leadership come December, though he has said at various times the past month or so that if he were hired he would "start cleain' house off tha' bat," indicating a no-nonsense style of management.

"One thing's for sure, dog: I be representin' tha little man, yo. None them ol' fools. Either sit down and shut tha' hell up or make me a sandwich."

Turner replaces former chief Jake Wilson, who retired in October 2001.