#Stately: Visit of the Spirit of Help Desk Past

by Audrey O'Rouke
December 20, 2006

Staff in Prescription Services was surprised Friday by the unscheduled visit of the Spirit of Help Desk Past, a glowing aurora of fluorescent lights and heavenly moanings that took employees on a flight through their holiday past, showing how things used to be more joyous and exciting.

After a brief morning meeting with the apparition, the Spirit of Help Desk Past, who demanded to be identified as Andrew, instructed all current Help Desk staff to link arms and believe in what the friendly specter was peddling.

"Andrew really came across as sincere," Help Desk Manager Shelia Kirby said. "He said we were all going to jump out of the window, briefly land, and hopefully not slip on the wet, red curb and magically arrive in our past. Few people believed him, and those who did found it even more rewarding. He's a real swell...whatever he is!"

Those participating in the surreal adventure were then whisked away to Christmas 1990. The handful of longtime workers still employed quickly identified the festive occasion as the Help Desk Christmas dinner.

"It was too cool" employee Maynard Spelling said, eagerly walking around successfully naming ever person in the ghostly vision. "I had forgotten that the Strategelleum was large enough to fit all of the Prescription Services staff and had that weird smell of burnt popcorn and rosary candles all the time, but...man, it brings back the memories."

While there was no way possible for the employees to interact and communicate with the hallucinations, they were able to listen in on conversations and get a feel for how things were during that time period.

"I didn't know they didn't have a true help desk back then," new employee Megan Donahue said. "It was so funny listening in and hearing their anxieties about being on a phone hotline all day."

Andrew seemed validated in everyone's honest appreciation for his work. He said, before disembarking, that he would mention the staff to his friends, the Spirit of Help Desk Present and Spirit of Help Desk Yet To Come, hoping they would also try to schedule a visit.

"A small matter,” said Andrew, “To make these silly folks so full of gratitude.”

This was the Andrew's first visit to Prescription Services and it is too early to vouch whether or not he or his comrades will return next year.