#Stately: Unpopular Debriefing Can't Win

by Farook Leivitch
September 6, 2006

Feelings were tossed aside with no regard Monday afternoon when the Prescription Services Help Desk decided again not to go to Debriefing, thereby enacting more sentiments of detriment and hated toward the semi-popular activity.

"I'm really quite unsure why I'm so ostracized," the nine-year-old Debriefing said today in his first statement since Monday's debacle. "I try my best to put on a good show - clowns, juggling, and even once snuck in a PG-13 movie – but nothing I do can persuade people to come anymore. I must not be the 'in' thing."

Monday's problem resulted from people, long tired of the fifteen minute yap-session, who decided on forgoing their required date with Debriefing for lounging in the hall and then leaving eight minutes early. Word eventually leaked back to those in charge, causing the said fiasco.

Debriefing says he knows being the last thing to happen daily brings certain resentment from people, though he feels many of the problems are brought on by the people who visit. "I'm like any other scheduled activity, too, yea know. Just like lunch and monthly staff meetings. I have to come in and deal with many of the same problems as everyone else. And then for a majority of the people to trample over me and say I'm a waste of time...it's really hurts."

Long-time Help Desk employee Brenda K. Jones is one of the detractors of Debriefing, citing a lack of interest. "You know, he can say all he wants he is interesting. But it's all one big been-there-done-that for me. You see one post-show meeting, and you've seen them all. He's been trying too many new features: medicine contests and pointless pharmacy trivia and jokes that end with the line '...You Might be at Walgreens.' That doesn't work for me."

Technician Ruben Jacobi, who once claimed Debriefing as his "best friend," shares similar thoughts of late. "I, like, really used to like coming to Debriefing. It was, you know, cool. People came in and Debriefing hosted, like, this real swell party, even though for fifteen minutes. I know the addition of new program policy has bogged a lot of people down but I thought we could always count on Debriefing."

"I'm really such a privilege," Debriefing said, countering the attacks with a somewhat smug attitude. "I never invite anyone else except my friends from Prescription Services over. I've heard people upstairs are trying to get in and I've hired bouncers to block them from getting in. It amazes me how many people detest me yet still hang around after 5:15. You're here: you might as well come over. Don’t hate the game: hate the player!"

There is no ill will for the Help Desk staff, Debriefing says, though because of the recent issues, there is talk that both the staff and Debriefing will be going through Personality Awareness Training courtesy the Human Resources office to let both sides see just how important they are to each other.